Your Custom Text Here
Birth Mom, Ashley Mitchell goes live with her son's Adoptive Mom.
One of the most powerful LIVE videos we have ever done at Lifetime Healing, LLC.
For the first time in this 12 year open adoption journey ADOPTIVE MOTHER + BIRTH MOTHER are going LIVE to share their love for each other, tips on how to love well AND offer insight to this complex relationship!
An Open Letter,
Maybe one day this will find you, I pray that it does. I pray that it finds you well.
You have always mattered. I don't think I always allowed you to feel that way...
but I have learned a few things since that time and now I want to share with you my thoughts on your presence in his life.
When you walked away, when you relinquished your parental rights, when you left me alone to make all of the decisions I was so mad.
I was so broken and so lonely and so embarrassed and ashamed and I was hurting. I was hurting deeper than I have ever hurt....and it wasn't just me, it was my family, those closest to me.
But now, looking back I understand deeply that this happened to you too.
You were so young and discovered that you were going to be a father. You didn't ask for it any more than I did. You wanted to make it go away as much as I did.
You were broken and lonely and ashamed and you were hurting.
Maybe you didn't hurt in a way that I thought you should. Maybe you didn't respond and step up in a way that I believed you should...but I owed you the room to grieve in your own way...
I was verbally cruel and I manipulated and blackmailed you and threatened and tried to do anything I could to "make you" do what I felt was right.
Please know that I did those things because I was so desperate to hang on to you...to hang on to anything that was "normal".
I hated you. But I loved you.
I know now, all these years later, that you were not the bad guy...just the wrong guy...and the person I was most mad at?? Myself.
I wish you could know your son. That door is open to you if you want it.
He is such a magical kid. I see so much of you in him. I think of you every time I get to be near him. We created a life together. We are forever connected. If I love him and honor him and respect him then I have to honor and respect you. You play a role in his story. It will be up to you what that story is...
I will never speak of you poorly, or as just a sperm donor or baby daddy or "he who shall not be named".
You are more than that.. you are more than that to him! AND THAT IS EVERYTHING TO ME. What he feels is all that matters now.
So today, on Father's Day my thoughts are with you. My thoughts are with our son. My thoughts are in a place of healing and forgiveness.
God, can you believe we have a 12 year old son?? What a crazy and vicious cycle.
I pray that he will grow to know you. I pray that he will have an open heart and forgiving spirit, for both of our sake.
Happy Father's Day. Wherever you are. You have always mattered.
You still do.
On today's episode we are honored to have Melinda Payne, a 2 time Birth Mother and Lifestyle/Adoption blogger joining us back on set.
Even though Melinda was in an unsafe relationship she was determined to beat the statistics. She was smart and and knew she could rise above. But even with the passion and drive that she carried at such a young age the pressures of such a huge decision weighed on her.
After education, prayer and as the abuse in her relationship continued she knew that adoption was going to be the best for her and her child. BUT when she finds herself pregnant a second time within a year of placement and her abusive relationship escalated she knew that placement would be life changing, and saving.
We are so blessed by Melinda and her powerful story. I adore her more than she knows and I know she has been an incredible support to so many fellow Birth Mothers. Her maturity at such a young age is really impressive and she has moved forward into a beautiful marriage and family and open adoption. I know you will be touched by her strength and vulnerability. THANK YOU Melinda, we love and and are blessed by your voice.
Lifetime Healing President, Ashley Mitchell had the amazing opportunity to film a Ted Talk hosted by The United Way Utah County and the Parent Advocacy Council, filmed at KBYUEleven Studio on BYU Campus. She shares her heart behind our mission and WHY we are fighting for Birth Mothers nationwide, and why you should too!
Meet Amy. Amy is a Birth Mother and placed her daughter in a closed adoption over 20 years ago. She is our latest guest on The Adoption Chat. An Adoption Q and A talk show.
She sits on the Board at Tied At The Heart and has dedicated so much time on post placement support for Birth Mothers but never had that same opportunity presented to her. In fact, the advice she was given after placement will shock you.
She is sharing her powerful story of being reunited with her daughter, the emotional roller coaster and the hope for a future of open adoption.
FROM THE HOST:
I am DEEPLY honored to know Amy personally and to call her a friend! I have watched her grow into an amazing Advocate for Birth Mothers full of love and compassion, while at the same time being incredibly honest about her shortcomings and where she needs to step up and do some work on herself. She has attended several retreats that I have hosted and is a part of our BIG TOUGH GIRL online community. She is a blessing in my life and I KNOW that her story will be a huge inspiration for Birth Mothers navigating reunification! THANK YOU friend for sharing your story with honesty and heart!
On today's episode we are honored to have Melinda Payne, a 2 time Birth Mother and Lifestyle/Adoption blogger join us on set.
Even though Melinda was in an unsafe relationship she was determined to beat the statistics. She was smart and and knew she could rise above. But even with the passion and drive that she carried at such a young age the pressures of such a huge decision weighed on her.
After education, prayer and as the abuse in her relationship continued she knew that adoption was going to be the best for her and her child. She shares a powerful message to young women about finding their worth outside of men and physical attraction, about saying NO and having the faith to fight for what you believe in.
FROM THE HOST:
I am so blessed to know Melinda. In the few short months that I started following her I knew that I wanted to get her voice out into the community. She is so smart and mature for her age and is a powerful role model for young women. Having experienced the trials and bullying that come with being pregnant at 16, she showed great class and respect as she decided to rise above. Adoption truly saved Melinda and we are so honored to watch her become an advocate for adoption and Birth Mothers everywhere.
You will be seeing more from her!
As we wrap up National Adoption Month we are just blown away and a bit exhausted!
You can follow all the amazing stories by following #lifetimehealingadoption
We have had a VERY busy month that included the launch of The Adoption Chat and our annual ABC photo-a-day challenge on social media!
We had ALL sides of the triad participate this year in all different seasons of their adoption journey.
You can follow all the amazing stories by following #lifetimehealingadoption
We had over 1200 posts, over 8 hours of live video conversation with hundreds of families, over 500 private messages and some amazing features including The Adoption Advocate hosted by the National Council for Adoption, #Facesofadoption hosted by Helpusadopt.org, Kindred + Co, and Adopt A Love Story.
Not to mention our amazing training that took place this month with some inspiring professionals in California for our post placement training and curriculum.
What are they saying in California??
“Our Agency recently had Ashley Mitchell of Lifetime Healing come and share with us the important impact of birth parent support. We had the opportunity to spend the day with her learning and then experienced a support group in action. I cannot say enough how valuable this time was spent for me and my staff. As an Agency, we felt we were doing a good job in supporting our birth parents in their adoption plan, but this process opened our eyes to many areas we never considered and how we can improve to provide the support and care deserved. I truly believe every Adoption professional should experience this Agency changing process as it will not only improve our services to birth parents but will allow us to better serve all in the Adoption triad.”
We can't thank you enough for everything that you have done to support us.
We look forward to taking some time off with our families for the month of December but we have so many amazing things plans for 2018 so stay tuned!
We had hundreds of people join our LIVE video conversations and they were so powerful.
We wanted to share those with you so you didn't miss out on our conversations.
LH President, Ashley Mitchell has been such a powerful voice this month and has been so gracious in sharing her journey so vulnerably and honestly!
We hope you will take some time to watch.
Today we are joined by husband, John Grace. His wife, host Ashley Mitchell, is a Birth Mother and an active national advocate on adoption reform and education. Through the past 9 years of building a life together, part of their journey has included throwing an open adoption relationship into the mix.
John talks about his support and love for his wife, her passion, and being a protector in an industry that is not always kind.
He is a balance to his wife's passion.
He talks openly about how "normal" it is that adoption is a part of his wife and that he has to accept all of it. We do not compartmentalize those that we love. It is all or nothing in this relationship. John shares his thoughts on the open adoption visits that he is able to be a part of with his wife and kids. Even with the concerns of emotional trials he still believes that they are always worth the time and energy and effort to show up. More often than not, they are good, even if they are challenging.
“Despite all of the emotional challenges that come with a visit we are able to look back with a healthy perspective. It is always a GOOD visit even if it is challenging. If it is hard, it’s hard. ”
FROM THE HOST:
It was such an honor to have my husband on the set with me today. He has been such an amazing support and I know that I am very blessed. He shows up in every way. He is home with the kids when I travel, he helps me write and process my thoughts, he hops on live with our community of women, he shares on social media and he knows when I just need a hug. He is level headed and calm, he is rational and steady. He is the most consistent thing in my life of emotional ups and downs. He has such a wide range of adoption experience in his own life and he is so matter of fact in his stance, in his support and in his boundaries. To have him be such a huge part of my open adoption relationship with Derek and his family is MORE than I could have ever dreamed and I am so blessed. They have welcomed him like he has just always been a part of it and I can't imagine it any other way.